Relevance Meets Transcendence

Siegen - May 11th, 2013

Our tour manager Heinz stood at the Resource table a few minutes before the concert let out, ready to attend to any early-departing congregants who wanted a Bill Drake CD.  Much to his surprise, the first one out was Anita, the local Newspaper Reporter.

Anita had been assigned the concert as one of her stories of the day, and had shown up early, hoping to get a few snapshots of the stage, and maybe some comments from me.  As I had been deeply engrossed in the set-up, I had only met her briefly, but encouraged her to take some notes during the concert, especially as I shared my testimony.  I was unaware that she had informed Heinz that she was only planning to stay about 10 minutes.

As the concert unfolded, I noticed Anita taking a number of photos, before finally settling in on the front row down to my right, attentively taking notes on her pad, and continuing to take a photo now and again, as the set changed, the worship dancer came and went, or the visuals on the screen presented an entirely different view.  She sat on the edge of her seat, seemingly to take in every word, and when things drew near to a close, I never noticed when she left.

Heinz asked Anita if she enjoyed the concert.  She gushed.  She had never expected what she ended up hearing, "I couldn't believe a Christian event would be so relevant to today, to people's everyday lives, and how they can be rather set free from their baggage!"  Heinz pressed further, and discovered that Anita did not go to church, as she had thought Christianity out of date, and out of touch. But this was different - and actually had application even to her own lilfe.  She had not only been surprised by this, but now admitted she needed to "walk away and really process through some things."

That gave Heinz the opportunity to introduce her to the person of Jesus Christ. The local newspaper reporter came that night for a few minutes to capture a quick story on a local happening, and got captured by a riveting story rooted in the timeless message of the Best of News, and it's transformative power for the entire world.

Please pray for her, and the countless hundreds who at this point have heard the Gospel, and the invitation to be part of God's reconciling the world to Himself through His Son, Jesus Christ.  (2 Corinthians 5:17-21)

Taking off the Grave Clothes

Ewersbach - May 15th, 2013

(Actual names have been changed)

What an amazing concert in such an amazing place!  Ewersbach (pronounced 'aversbok' is a beautiful little German town with a 1,000 year old church.  I couldn't help myself, but go up into the bell tower where the chimes called the faithful to pray at 11:00am every workday, and on Sundays to call people to church.

Rebecca came with a heavy heart, but a huge hope - having been encouraged by her friend Tina, who had heard us a few days before in Halle (pronounced "ha la", the birthplace of George Frederich Handel, who famously wrote "Handel's Messiah"!).  Tina heard the message of Broken & Complete, and called Rebecca up straight away, and told her she MUST come to the concert in Ewersbach, as she would be hearing her own personal story told back to her in the person of 'Bill Drake'.

As the last song ended, I moved from the stage to the back of the church, with the audience still singing the refrain, "I'll Stand, with arms high and heart abandoned…"  As people started to move down the aisle, and down, I realized that I had positioned myself as the Pastor would on a Sunday morning - that special "place" where you get to shake everyone's hand as they file out!  And no one tried to squeak by - they all wanted to shake my hand!!!  I shook every hand  but one:  Rebecca.

Ulli, my translator motioned for me to come over toward her, where she stood with a woman who looked like she might be afraid of her own shadow.  As it turned out, she hadn't wanted to come, as she didn't like driving home in the dark, but she braved it anyway, feeling in her heart that the Holy Spirit wanted her there.

Ulli told me why Rebecca had come, and as Rebecca began to unfold her horrific story, my heart began to melt for this tortured woman.  Abused and molested by a "Christain" father, it was a miracle that Rebecca had trusted Jesus, even though she admitted that she could not forgive her dad.  I told her how sorry I was that this had happened to her, and that I knew a bit of the kind of pain that she was going through, and that Jesus not only does not want us to carry that, but will meet us in it, and conform us to His image.

I then shared with her that she would need to forgive her father in order to find freedom from the torment she admitted she was in.  She answered that my saying that caused her to get all tense inside, and she was not comfortable.

I cried out to God in my heart - what could I say to help her?  God led me to say that I was not going to ask her to do anything that she did not feel comfortable doing, but, rather in her own time with God, she would need to ask God to forgive her for not forgiving her own father - regardless of what he had done to her.  Why?  Because Jesus makes it clear that if we do not forgive, we set ourselves up for torment.  (Matthew 6:15)  To forgive is to release, and to abide in bitterness is to drink poison hoping that someone else will die.

Then I suggested that she take that before God, and ask Him to help her come out of agreement with anything that she may have been in agreement with that would hold her in bondage - like feeling worthless, unworthy of love, taking on the countenance of a victim, and harboring any resentment, etc.  Not that anyone could blame her.  But God demands a higher standard, but then again, He died to provide us that standard that we could not provide for ourselves.  Christ meets us in our brokeness, substitutes His perfect brokeness, and then makes us complete by swapping His righteousness for our unrighteousness.  

And therein is the supreme evil of abuse - whilst one is being abused, one most likely sins or comes into agreement with the enemy by having a natural reaction in one's heart that is contrary to the law of Christ - love your enemies, bless those who persecute you, call no one a fool, and forgive all things done to you.

Rebecca looked me straight in the eye with tears in hers, and let me know that she would take this before God, and ask for His help.

Friends, taking off the grave-clothes of "victimhood" by releasing your identity in relationship to the person who has hurt you, is possible by embracing one's identity in Christ.  He has overcome, made you victorious over sin and abuse in Himself, and has put a new garment on you, and given you a new identity that is wrapped up in Him and His love, not someone else's warped view of you.  

You see, we cannot fully embrace our identity in Christ if we do not forgive.  As long as we do not forgive, we cling to the grave-clothes, and the perspective and identity that we are to be victims.  But Christ does not see us that way when we are "in Him".  If we hold on to our identity as victims, we are not in agreement with Christ, but rather with the cage the enemy has fashioned for us.

But Christ has fashioned a new identity for us, one we were designed and destined to embrace.  This is the new man, the new creation, the bride of Christ, those abiding in the truth, those defined not by the base things of this world, but rather by the love, grace, forgiveness, and freedom of Christ.  "And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free"  (John 8:32)

Joy Comes in the Morning

Mosbach I - May 10th, 2013

The pleasant middle-aged woman approached me respectfully, asking if I had a moment.  Having just heard my story of "Broken and Complete", she was hoping to share her story with me...

A number of years ago, she had lost her son, and then husband to a drowning accident in the North Sea, one trying to save the other, and in the panic, both died.  She stood on a beleaguered beach as the helicopter pulled her men out of the water.  

At the funeral, amidst the despondent weeping and palpable hopelessness, she heard the voice of God.  "Even in the midst of this, I am still good."  She knew at once that it was not her inner voice - she would never say such a thing in such a time as this.  And it was not the voice of the enemy - he had already been spitting negativity and whispering depression towards her and her faith.

Her crying stopped, and her worship began.  She tapped deeply into the words of the prophets, "He will bring beauty from the ashes, and turn sorrow into dancing."  She has since been patiently waiting for the Lord to release her into a deeper ministry of healing to the broken-hearted.

She thanked me again and again for vulnerably sharing my story of wreckage and salvation, bitterness and redemption, forgiveness and reconciliation, as it once again validated what she knew to be true in her heart - the God of Job, Jeremiah, and Mary, is a God who will redeem all things to His glory, if we will only allow Him the room, the opportunity, and the time.  She would like to attend our school of the arts, Incarnate, in February 2014, and learn how to use her classical musical talents to build a platform to share these truths and bring help to the hurting.

He is a God who counts time through His redemptive history, and measures things with an eternal standard.  He is a God who keeps track of every tear we have cried, and has recorded every prayer - nothing is beyond His reach, and no-one is beyond His grasp.  His mercy is without end, His faithfulness is unchanging, and the peace that comes from knowing Him and basking in His presence goes beyond where our ability to understand stops.

Releasing the Toxic Waste

Halle - May 12th, 2013

Klaus came up to me after the concert, thanking us for bringing a message of spiritual freedom.  His father left the family when he was seven, leaving a wake of bitterness and unforgiveness in his mother, and a parent-sized hole in his heart.

As he listened to the music, the message, and the videos, he realized that he had been influenced, admittedly no one would blame him, by his mother's hurt and pain.  Surely he needed to decide for himself how he felt about his father's departure, and how he would eventually process what had gone on and how that left him as a young man.  

But he did know one thing for sure - he decided that he would reach out to his dad, and try to build a relationship.  The feelings in his heart, no matter how conflicted, needed to be tempered by the truth he heart this night - that he doesn't have the right to judge, nor condemn the man who was his father, and neither did he want to hold the toxic waste of bitterness in his heart any longer.

Klaus left the concert with a determination to make things right, as much as it was up to him.  Yes, he could not control his father's responses to him, but he could control his own.  He thanked us again, and headed out into a new paradigm for his father and his family.

There is no such thing as Coincidence!

Mosbach III - May 14th, 2013

The guys made their way from the Stuttgart airport to the OM Germany base in Mosbach no problem, Joe being upgraded from the little Ford Focus to a larger, more spacious Mercedes Station Wagon, that could accommodate their guitars and pedal boards.  

We arrived from Hofen in time for lunch, and had a great reunion - the size of our touring team just went up by a third!  We walked into Mosbach to have some team time, and Ty, Katja and myself found ourselves in a very cool space - a church that in the times of the Reformation literally split the sanctuary, putting the Reformers in the entrance half, and the Catholics in the Altar half!

Remembering a similar looking space in Hungary, I asked the female warden at the door, if it was OK if the three of us sang a worship song in the church.  She lit up, and in German said, "Please!"  So up we went, and you can see the result here:  <https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10200760039990809&set=vb.1456752264&type=2&theater>

Later that afternoon, we took the opportunity to rehearse, and upon plugging in his pedal board, Tim remembered too late that he forgot to flip the switch inside his pedal board power supply from the US 110 volts, to the European 240volts. the result was a second of power, and then a nicely toasted fuse!

I asked Tim to hand it to me, and I went out the door to the OM Germany garage, where I knew Walter would be at work.  He took one look at it, and then the clock, and headed straight up the driveway, yelling behind that he hoped the electrical shop down the street would be open, since Werner, the man who did electrics at OM was gone for the day.

Right as Walter hit the top of the driveway of his garage, who should come by on his bicycle, but Werner!  Walter flagged him down, showed him the fuse, Werner took the fuse, and motioned for me to follow him!  This led me back to OM Germany, and to Werner's workshop, where he summarily pulled out the EXACT fuse that Tim needed to be his Bass working again!  No, we don't believe in coincidence around here - this was a "God Thing" no doubt!!!

Totally Abandoned

Totally Abandoned

 

All that I've lived for

Poured out in defeat, at Your precious feet

All that I've longed for

Totally undone, by Your Savior love

 

You are my Resurrection, You are my life

Jesus, Here is my sacrifice . . .

 

     I am totally abandoned, wrecked at Your feet

     I am smitten by forgiveness

     Broken and complete

     Help me die to my ambitions and my self erected pride

     Help me live out on this altar

     'till in You I'm crucified

 

All that I've strived for,

Counted up as loss, nailed to the cross

All that I'd die for

Is found alive in You, the way and the truth

 

You are my Resurrection, You are my life

Jesus, Here is my sacrifice . . .

 

Nothing compares to being close to Your heart

Jesus, I want to be where You are . . .

 

 

Words & Music by Bill Drake

© 2012 Old Dirt Road Music

 

Being the "title track" of the album, this song of course has a special place in my heart.  For me it ranks up there with Mt. Moriah, Open My Heart, I Was Born To Worship You, and More Than Willing when it comes to songs of commitment that I have been able to write over the years. 

 

This song was written during a very difficult bout with a Kidney Stone – one that I was miraculously delivered from!  During the ordeal, I had collapsed on the floor, and a dear friend had come over, and with my wife, lay down with me, and encouraged me to rather embrace the pain, as opposed to fighting it – which I had been doing constantly since that first trip to the ER.  She explained it like this – God has ordained that women go through pain in childbirth, and there are seasons where there will be pain – this is the fruit of the fall.  God will also deliver.  But in the trial, in the season, submit to His sovereignty, His plan, His way (and yeah, if you are engaged in some egregious sin, repent!), and His ultimate provision.

 

As I lay there, the chorus to this song filled my mind.  Later, when I could finally stand up, I played it for my daughters on guitar, as tears streamed down my face.  I thought about the fact that I was physically, spiritually, totally 'broken', and yet complete in Christ.  In the midst of excruciating pain, He was there, going through it with me, and leading me out of it, all the while teaching me in it.

 

Interestingly, Gary Witherall's book about his wife's martyrdom was entitled, 'Total Abandon' – and my involvement with the entire Wear The Crown project had highlighted Bonnie's life and death, and massively impacted my life.  Even that little connection again to a life to pure worship, dedication, and crucifixion blesses me, for Christianity is less about living well, and more about dying well for Jesus…

 

Scripture Study:  John 12:1-8, 14:6, 11:25, Philippians 3:7-8, Psalm 51:16-17, Romans 5:8,  Luke 10:42

The Gift on the Bonfire

A young woman we'll call Aubrey came on a Mission trip last summer to Latin American country.  She was a hard worker, and fit well within the overall mission team.  I got to know her, and at first was totally unaware of the torment that was going on in her life.  However, during a team meeting, things starting coming out, including the horrific molestation that she had gone through as a child, victim to one of her own relatives.  This had left a trail of wreckage through her family, and through her years, leaving her struggling with huge self-esteem issues, and problems with deception and trust.  Many of us prayed for her, and a number of us continued to stay in touch with her as she went home, went back to University, and continued to wrestle with things that were intended by the enemy of our souls to destroy her.

 

But Aubrey continued to "lean in", taking thoughts captive under the obedience of Christ, renouncing the enemy, rebuking the spirit of fear, and asking the Lord by His Holy Spirit to give her love, boldness, and a sound mind.  She battled through the draining wasteland of low self-esteem and would pray, read the Lord's word, and confide in a few trusted councilors who were walking this road with her.

 

I met up with her again this summer, and was so blessed to see that the Mission had accepted her back, especially after some of the difficult things that had happened last summer.  She was once again working hard as an appreciated member of the ministry team.  We sat on top of an overlook, and she recounted to me her journey so far.  I was so impressed at the ground she had gained, and asked her how things were looking right now.  She replied, "Bill, I have been having a recurring dream.  In that dream, I am standing there as a little girl, with a wrapped present in my hands, standing at the foot of the cross.  Jesus is on that cross.  And He is asking my to give Him my present.  But I can't.  He gently keeps asking, and I try, but I just can't do it.  What could this mean?" 

 

I cried out to God in my heart, "Help me interpret this.  I really want to help Aubrey, Lord.  What does this mean?"  And immediately the dream made sense to me - the gift was her identity, a false identity, wrapped up as a present to make it look better, but inside, it held all the horror of being a victim of molestation, a prisoner of the vicious things that had been done to her, wearing the grave clothes of low self-esteem and the badge of worthlessness.  And Jesus was asking her to let Him have it at the cross, give it to Him for He died for all of that, and allow Him to exchange it for what His death was providing:  freedom, resurrection, victory, restoration.

 

I explained this to Aubrey, and she totally understood it, probably knew it before I said it, and yet admitted that still, she couldn't do it.  She even said, "I have been living with this for so long, that it is a part of my identity.  If I lay it down, I'm not sure I really know who I will be anymore."  I left her on the Field, not with foreboding, but rather, a slight lack of peace - would Aubrey step up and do what Jesus was asking her to do - lay down this false-self, this victim who felt worthless, tainted, and discarded?  Would she allow Jesus to give her a new identity in Him, where all are given the power to be more than conquers, to be the Bride of Christ, and where nothing can separate us from His love?

 

A few weeks ago I got the answer I was praying for, as Aubrey sent me a photo from one of her last nights on the field.  In the photo was a gift, wrapped with ribbon, and laid on a bonfire.  She obviously had taken that final step, laid down the grave clothes, and allowed Jesus to be the One who defines her, where in Him she finds her true identity.  Praise God.

 

Is there something in your life that haunts you?  Is there a land-mine that the enemy has laid in the soil of your years, in the thoughts and memories of your life?  Have you been robbed of the joy of your true identity, being given experiences that strive to define you in terms that are untrue, debilitating, and ultimately destructive?  Aubrey's story is the story of the woman at the well, the woman caught in adultery, actually all of our stories - ravaged by sin, and left for dead.  But the Lover of our Souls has a different agenda.  He is the creator of all things new, and that most certainly includes a new identity in Christ, and identity that is defined by Him and Him alone.